In the span of one-weeks time I’ve been accused by two different men of hating gay people and having a real issue with being gay, so you know what- here we go:

I have no issue with gay people or being gay.  What I take issue with is the fact that because I’m gay I should do, like and be certain ways and things, totally ignoring the fact that there’s 100% human being in here.  My being gay is about as relevant as my having brown eyes – it’s a trait I have, but it doesn’t define me.  I am not your damned stylist, or your fucking comic relief like some modern age man in black face tap dancing for all the nice folk.  These seemingly harmless stereotypes are just as poisonous as the ones of sex and race marginalization.  Why don’t you go and ask your black friend the best place to get fried chicken, see how that goes over.  Or how about you ask your Latino friend what it’s like to be a day laborer.  No, I don’t hate being gay, what I hate is the notion that it defines me.

The gay communities #1 enemy?  The gay community.  You must conform!  You must be this way, or you’re completely devalued, debased and dehumanized.  Weren’t we supposed to be fighting for everyone to have a voice?  For everyone to be created equal?  Nope, sorry, go play into the mold that NBC, Bravo! and every other damned media outlet has created for you, go ahead.  Show the world that you’re nothing but sheep.  The community whines, and moans that they’re not getting equal treatment…well how about you start at home.  Here’s a clue, AB MUSCLES ARE NOT NORMAL!  It’s not rights for the pretty ones and the rest can go to hell, it’s rights for EVERYONE!

OK, sure, so I do like some pretty typical things that gay people like, example one, Judy Garland.  But you know what, talent is talent.  Unlike Britney Spears and whatever the next wreck-de jour is, there is a difference between blindly following the tune of a marketing directors drum, and identifying true talent.

Can I tell you what designer labels are in?  Nope, can you tell me?  Can I tell you what color looks good on you?  Sure, but you told me that first and I’m only honest when I tell you you look fat…gays aren’t honest, friends are.  Can I dance?  Not on your life, can you?  I don’t know what puce is, beer and wings are my idea of heaven, I like to sit around in jeans and a hoodie, I don’t have to have to newest, prettiest, shiniest whatever it is that’s in vogue this minute and for this I’m marginalized by the supposed gay community.

Well you know what, I’m here to tell you something.  This community sucks.  Get your shit in order, figure out what you want from your country and your government, until then, I’ll just sit aside and watch you all destroy yourselves.  I’ll be over here drinking my beer, wearing my ratty old jeans, watching A Star Is Born.


What brought this on?

A phone call last night from a fellow columnist at the Montrose GEM called to tell me that a lesbian is running for mayor.

“Um, ok, yay?”

“Why do you hate being gay?”

“Woah, what? Excuse me?”

“You seem to have a real issue with being gay.”

“No, John, I have a real issue with the fact that because I’m gay I’m supposed to be a certain way.  I don’t give a damn if the person running for mayor people’s her bed with sheep.  All I care about is her platform.”

“Oh….well I came at this wrong…..there’s this awesome person running for mayor, with an amazing platform, oh and she happens to be a lesbian.”

“Wow, that’s awesome, I gotta see what her platform is.”



  1. Well I would assume when working for a gay blogg that that is your topic and your focus, the frist gay mayor, the first gay Subway owner, the first gay Home depot worker… its life. And well your blogg wouldnt be doing a story about the first Italian whale hunter… right? well unless he or she was gay. So look at where you are working… your focus is gay first accomplishment 2nd. Like mine is Hunterdon County people first good picture 2nd. Its what we have to live with.
    People need to put us all in boxes, its make them feel safer. I am not saying its right BUT we ALL do it. Just because you think I am hippy-esk doent mean I can give you the best granola to eat or hiking trail to go on. I try not to treat people that way but I am sure I do.
    You did it the other day yourself with saying its not jews or italians its business people- hello you just catagorized business people. So laugh it off… tell them that spruce is their best color or Guns n Roses has a great compalation and McDonalds has the best wine…. see what happens. Sometimes its just not worth being the angry person. Maybe they have so much cheerleader cheer in being gay that the people that dont seem like bystanders to them… well as we all know we are both not cheerleaders. thank god. See I just catagorized… ah forgetaboutit!

  2. well i was focusing more on the fact of life that people assume that b/c I’m gay I’m a certain person….I don’t care that I have to write all about gay topics for the paper, that’s ok with me, teaches me to write in another way….and laugh all you want, my McDonnalds in Paris does sell wine!

  3. Any good news?

  4. I agree…you should not feel like you have to live up to a stereotypical image of what other people think you should be…….You should see how shocked liberals are when they find out I am opposed to the death penalty.

    And By the way…..Beer and wings is heaven!!!!!!!!

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